Picnic for the Cheap and Bougie

How to pack for a bougie (ˈbo͞oZHē/) picnic on the cheap

First of all, let’s just give an Amen to the Almighty Trader Joe’s for art thou this great feast would never be upon us!

It is the little things that make a great day in the park, minus the bologna and mustard on stale white bread, that make all things better.

Can I just add before we begin that having the basic accoutrements before packing will make things go a lot easier? Before buying for the date in question, please think about keeping a few things for use during the year in your cabinet; picnic basket, insulated lunch bag and condiments stored accordingly. I always keep olives, grainy mustard, honey, fresh herbs, and jams on hand.  I usually buy seasonal for snacks for home light bites.  You cannot go wrong with soft cheese and jams instead of excess sugar for a midnight snack.

First you need a picnic basket and insulated lunch bag.

A basket that comes with glassware, silverware and plates will add a little bit of style when outdoors. You need to remember that anything refrigerator worthy needs to be packed responsibility.  No salmonella cases please.

Insulated lunch bag will set you back about 3 dollars at most drug stores. This filled with ice packs will determine if your salami stays fresh.  Who doesn’t want their salami to be fresh? You might not eat right away when spending time outside. Remember, ice is nice!

Now, getting back to Trader Joe’s.

If you are on a budget and when I say budget about twenty bucks comes to mind. You need to stretch those dollars but still look like a fancy pants when dining alfresco.  At Trader Joe's, cheeses are below market value and from time to time sold in combinations. This can run you about a whole five bucks.  There are combo crackers that run two dollars. They sell four variations of crackers in one box. 

Salami with infused truffle oil, anyone?  Between that and the three buck chuck cabernet, you will still have enough left over to buy flowers at the front of the store. A brick of chocolate and maybe some fruit for a few dollars more.

Now for the ambiance!

Invest in a good picnic clothe.  The answer is yes.  Yes, you should spend (ahead of time) a few dollars on cloth napkins.  Whether it’s wine or mustard that dribbles, the product Shout Out will remove any stain applied within 48 hours.

A sprig of rosemary or basil placed on your hors d’oeuvres tray and a canister with slices of cucumber, mint and lime poured into portal plastic wine glasses will create elegant snacking. Flowers can be stored along with dry goods and wine in basket.

Wind Chimes! Yes, you can.  If you plan on being near trees, nothing will say I need to adopt a cat and try more online dating than bringing chimes to hang above you and your dining companion.

Set Up:

When spreading out the blanket make sure to use jackets, shoes or any loose items to hold the ends down. This will prevent wind kicking it up.  Have a smaller round or square clothe to lay in the center of the blanket for food to be placed on.  It will help from keeping spills off the blanket and create a table optic. When setting up the basket, use the closed top to lay food on so ants won’t get ideas. Also, put the basket at the bottom of the blanket to give you some privacy for at least one side.  Nosey Nancy’s always want to bring down the party with comments on how many calories your lunch is while walking their schnauzer. Thank you but I didn’t ask.

Remember coffee mugs are always an option if in a state run park that frowns on open containers of alcohol.  Flasks are coming back in style and don’t have the hobo appeal they did a decade ago.

Look, we are all adults here.  Don’t try to pretend you have never shared a forty in a paper bag with a friend on the D train to Coney Island. Possibly trying to conceal it in your Vera Bradley overnight bag. Just be conscious and smart about your choices of whether or not you should sweep the legs of the owner of the schnauzer.  After all, this is supposed to be bougie day in the park celebrating all things that are elegant.

Now where is the music?  Cue soft music from cell phone that is cohesive with the birds chirping and Bon Appetite!

North Fork Wineries of Long Island

The Winery Whining of North Fork

Or as we called them by the end of the day “the vineries of North Fork, Long Island.”  Let’s just start off by saying when you are traveling with group or even by yourself – three vineyards please.  Three is the magic number when deciding to spend a day in the country and go from one vineyard to another.  Now I am not saying four is that terrible but if you are given the choice to either taste or try a full glass of this year’s pinot, there is not enough complimentary cheese to soak that buzz up without a lunch involved.

We started out the day with a lovely trip to Dilberto’s Winery.  Located in Jamestown a few blocks from the Main Road; literally, the name is Main Road. I will eventually take you to one of the most eastern points of Long Island which is Greenport. Dilberto’s is a nice start to a very, very, very long day of drinking – I mean tasting wine.  You can order a nice thin crust pizza that Italy would be proud of.  You even get the offering to pay an extra 5 dollars to take home the wine of your choice.  If you don’t mind previously opened bottles that were poured into one.  Who cares? Doesn’t the alcohol kill all the germs anyway.  And what germs?  Who is directly drinking from the bottle? Not me, yet.

Oh, did I mention the air-conditioned table area?  This was very key to the rest of our day.

We then made our way to Jason’s Vineyard. It was set up like a party scene with tour buses and limos for bridal parties backing up the drive way. However, we were still able to maneuver into a parking spot and walk in unscathed.  This place encourages byof – food.  We had decided to bring some grapes, cheese, salami, and crackers because that’s how Italians roll on car trips. The vineyard did offer an amazing cheese selection. We chose a

creamy Havarti.  The inside was a bit livelier and air-conditioned but we decided to go outside where the band was going to play. Other than the porch area, there was no real coverage from the blaring sun. The picnic area had just a few strips of cloth on lines tied to poles near the vineyard. So melting in the summer heat, eating warm cheese and smelling farm animals (picnic area next to goat pen) took its toll on my sensitive prone migraine symptoms.

The third was a little further down the road in Cutchogue; Pugliese’s Vineyards.  Can I just say, hands down, best one yet? I can’t understand when I looked online how it got low ratings as being one of the smaller vineyards in the area. I was pretty big and secluded from what I saw.

Now keep in mind, from where we began, every sign on Main Road in the Northfork is a friggin vineyard. We must have passed 30 by time we got to our third destination.

I know I haven’t mentioned much about the wine.  You want to know why? Because after the first stop you can’t taste anything anymore.  It doesn’t matter how many crackers you stuff in your mouth.  Ok, if you twist my arm, I’ll say Dilberto’s red table wine.  The magical mixture of God knows what thus far was pretty tasty.  In fact, it’s sitting my fridge right now.

Ok getting back to Pugliese’s.  First of all, ample parking.  No matter how many limos, yes I know again with the limos.  Who are these women? Doesn’t anybody go to Atlantic City anymore?

Coverage?  Perfection.  A huge trellis that could easily fit 200 people under it comfortably. Grapes were dangling over us giving us a very picturesque atmosphere.  The pond with a fountain and swimming koi set the bar for the day.  We ordered a bubbly red.  I am a fan of chilled Lambrusco in the summer and this hit the spot.  Not because I could actually taste anything because I was passed 3 sheet...but because it was cold and refreshing and went great with my migraine medication.

The band played rock that I like; none of that new mumbo jumbo stuff. I heard James Taylor, Stevie Nicks and some good ol Boz Scaggs.  Ah Yayeh!

It was a pretty sunny day.  With some voting, it was unanimous that the fourth “vinery” (Webster’s, your welcome) was probably not needed.  Especially, because the inside area of the vineyards accommodations looked like a utility shed.  We aren’t going to name the vineyard because we feel sorry for the persons who bought it.  Apparently, it was a recent purchase.  When you list in the menu the notes of the wine but decided to replace all the “wine speak” with” nice taste,” “a great accent to any dish” or “great for gatherings,” methinks you don’t really know a lot about what you are growing.

Also, would it kill you to put the wires to the household appliances away.  I thought while sitting on the stool a guy in overalls was going to come out and tell me I needed an oil changed and my suspension was busted.

At this point, we could have just spit the wine into the air like lawn sprinkler. We were so done with the tastings.  Plus side: we did get three free bottles with our Groupon.  I have no idea what the notes or after taste was as they are sitting in a cabinet waiting to mixed for Sangria eventually.

The only after taste I remember is stuffing my face with fried fish for dinner and anything else greasy I could get my hands on.

So remember, vineyards are a staple in our culture to partake in enjoyment and spending time with others in the beautiful countryside. 

Just remember. you don’t have to partake the whole countryside in one day.

Cin Cin!